Fateful Decisions

When you get into your 50s your mind starts thinking differently. You start thinking about mortality, fate, life choices, your health, etc. You start paying attention to the ages of people who have passed and all those health commercials. It dawns on you that yes, you could have a heart attack one day or get cancer, or everything else. You start realizing that you are not invincible.

I already did all the mid-life crisis events in my 40s: divorced, remarried, career change, college, and a sports car. Now I’m started the philosophical stage where I slowly turn into the wise old crone. So the recent death of a friend from way-back-when started me thinking about the decisions we make in our lives that start out small and snowball into life-changing events. David was the victim of a tragic hit and run accident. (We always say tragic before horrific events but when is a hit and run not tragic; isn’t it a given?)

The news reports state that Dave smelled smoke and went out on his scooter to see if there was a fire somewhere and was hit by a 21-year-old in a car decked out with neon lights. When Dave decided to go out on his scooter it was a small little decision, perhaps because he had nothing else to do and was curious, and thought he’d investigate. Who knew a small decision like that would end his life? Or the decision that 21-year-old made to decking out his car with green neon lights and loud exhaust system. When he was standing in that store deciding that his car would look amazing all decked out not knowing that later, when he made an unfortunate decision to leave the scene of a crime, that the neon lights would make it easier to arrest him. Was it a quick spur-of-the-moment decision, or did he save up his money for months? What unfortunate decisions did he make before he got behind the wheel of his car? Was he drinking, was he high, was he just being a stupid 21-year old? We’ve all been there and been lucky to not have been in an accident.

We’ve all had minor decisions that have affected our lives. Who knew that the simple act of getting up to get another hot dog at a picnic would be the beginning of the end of a marriage? Or that a simple little mundane IM message to someone would start a new life with the love of your life. Or that a last minute bathroom break would make you the first responder to an accident instead of being in the accident?

There are so many decisions that we make in life can have so many consequence. Thankfully we don’t really think about it at the time or else we would freeze up with indecision.

Terrible Read

I'm reading a book called Francisco Goya: Life & Times by Evan S. Connell. Apparently he has written over 18 books and has won numerous awards. Really? You wouldn't know it by this book. He has a few irritating habits:

Rambling off the subject: He's describing Goya's travels to another town in some sort of cart and then goes into great detail about the cart.

Plugging in random information that has no rhyme or reason to be in the book. Here he is describing Goya's wife Josefa:

"She resented it but there was no escape. Year after year she did what was expected. She seems to have felt passionately about nothing except clothes. When I was a child our family employed a housekeeper like Josefa: a placid, expressionless, devout, overweight farm girl. Not once did I see her angry, excited, depressed, or amused. Day after day, month after month, heavy on her feet, she cleaned house, prepared meals. Sunday morning she dressed up to attend church. Wednesday night she attended Bible class. Life being what it was, she
acquiesced."

I think this is my favourite rambling so far. He is describing a painting Goya did of Don Luis de Bourbon, brother of the King of Spain. The Spanish Bourbons were well know for their large noses.

"He looks dazed, befuddled, glassy-eyed. He resembles George Washington except for the nose, the grotesque Bourbon nose, swollen, possibly discolored by too many goblets of wine. Americans call this a whisky nose and since he was Don Luis de Bourbon they wonder if there might be a connection. No. That whiskey is distilled from corn, which Europeans regard as inappropriate for anything except pig feed, and takes it name from a county in Kentucky where it was first produced."

Huh? What in the world does Kentucky Bourbon have to do with Spanish royalty?

But the best, is he throws out rumours or summations and then says "We will get back to that." I guess that's what I get for buying a discount book.