Aunt Lottie

One of my most favourite people in the world passed away this week in Port aux Basque, Newfoundland–my Aunt Lottie. We were lucky enough to visit Uncle Eric & Aunt Lottie last June for their 60th anniversary. Even after 60 years of marriage you never saw two people that were more in love with each other than those two. Aunt Lottie was an important part of my life. When I was going through my divorce she—all 5ft nothing of her—told me that she wanted to go down to Virginia and "punch Larry in the nose!" She probably would have done it too. Our trip in June was the first time that my husband met that side of my family. He fell such in love with Aunt Lottie and she with him. It was so bad that when I called home, the first thing she would say is, "how's my Bruce?" He started calling himself Aunt Lottie's Bruce. She just thought that he was something else because he did the dishes and helped around the house. Men didn't do that in her day, not that they would have been allowed to around her. This is the tribute that I wrote for her funeral:

How do you describe Lottie Durnford? I think saying that she was a small ball of a woman in constant motion pretty well sums it up. I don’t think I ever saw Lottie, in her younger years before age caught up with her, ever walk at a sedate pace. She was always bustling in and out of rooms, mainly the kitchen—Lottie was always in the kitchen.

I can’t think of Lottie without thinking of food and tea. Whenever you went to their house food would just miraculously appear on the table the minute you sat down, and I mean lots of food! I was the only child of my father’s born off the Rock, so I hadn’t grow up with traditional Newfoundland food. Aunt Lottie changed all that. She introduced me to the wonders of pork buns! The minute she heard that I had never had one she was scandalized and started baking, and baking and baking. I had pork buns every blessed morning during my first visit to Newfoundland. Oh, and you also drank a lot of tea when you were around Lottie—even if you didn’t like tea. Food and tea; that was her way of showing love.

Lottie had a great big heart. She loved her family dearly, her son Merrill, her daughter-in-law Ida, and most especially her precious granddaughter Linda. Linda was the apple of her eye. But the greatest love of her life was for her husband Eric. She loved that man dearly and gladly cared of him for 60 years of a beautiful marriage. Those of us lucky to be present at their recent 60th anniversary saw that love shining through. For 60 years she loved the same man, passionately and dearly.

I am glad that I had Lottie Durnford in my life. I wish that everyone had a Lottie Durnford in their lives because if they did, the world would be a better place. They would have known unconditional love and unconditional dedication to family and God. For Lottie showed that every day to everyone and we’re all better for it.

Paradise

Today I went to the beach to take some photos. There was a tall ship in town and I wanted to get some photos of her while she was going out to sea. While we were sitting there on the breakers I was just amazed about how beautiful my adopted home is. Here it was the middle of January and we were sitting out on a breaker watching the sailboats go by. Can't do that up north this time of year. San Diego county has got to be one of the most beautiful areas in the states. It's much nicer than L.A., the people there are too plastic in my mind. San Diegians are warmer, friendlier and small-townish compared to our neighbours to the north. I think San Diego is the closest you can get to a Canadian city in the states. The people are polite and friendly, just like back home - without the cold weather.

Seems like it was just yesterday.

Last night we went out for dinner at Old Country Buffet for Bryant's 17th birthday. On the way home I was listening to the boys talk in the back seat and was thinking about how many times we had gone there in the past and the night ended with me fussing at the boys, mainly Blake, for making rude noises. It seems with boys that you can't go from point A to point B in the car without someone doing something that involved bodily functions. Blake was usually the culprit in our house. About half way home he'd start giggling in the back and the rest of the boys are gagging and rolling down the window. He try to be serious and say, "I couldn't hold it in, " but his sincerity was very lame since he could hardly say it without giggling. It dawned on me last night that it just seemed like yesterday and now he's out on his own in the Marines. They sure grow up fast.

Day Two with the Drill Instructor

Stepson #3 started Marine boot camp on Monday. It's handy having a spouse that went through it so we know what he's going through each day. I generally know what he's going through, boot camp is boot camp, but the day to day stuff is different between the services. Yesterday was "meet" the drill instructor day. I can only imagine what that is like. The asterisk were theirs not mine. Nice to see that Marines have a sense on humour. I had an upper endoscopy yesterday, fun time was had by all! It wasn't really that bad they gave me a sedative that made me happy. I wasn't so fond of the spray they put down my throat to numb it. It was supposed to taste like bananas. It taste like crap and it was foamy. I didn't fall asleep from the sedative until I came home and slept all day, all night and woke up at 9:30 on Saturday. My throat was sore but that's about it. I do have a hiatal hernia which explains all the heartburn.

The World of Comics

I have to admit that I'm a big fan of Luann and For Better or For Worse. And I know I'm not the only one...come on, you're out there. I can't be the only person that checked out Tiffany's My Space. I even checked some of the links. Okay, I thought about posting to it. Man, I can't believe how many people have blogged Tiffany to rat out Luann & Bernice. Quit cluing her in!

I find it fascinating that Luann has blurred the lines between fiction and reality (okay, let's not even go down the reality show road). How cool is it that I read the strip about Luann and Bernice blogging onto Tiffany's My Space on comics.com and with a little tap dancing with the fingers, bam, I'm reading the same blog on Tiffany's My Space. Now how cool is that? Okay, I need to get a life.

Luann is great but my favourite is FBOFW. I have been a fan of that comic 4Ever! Fans will know what that means. I know that they aren't real people but sometimes it just feels like they're part of my family. I'll admit that I cried when Farley died. I knew it was coming, Lynn Johnston said so in an interview, and you could see the build up. It was one of those situations where you didn't want to read it because you knew the ending but you had to anyway. (I get that way with any books on the Rominovs, I keep wanting to shout, "Don't go down in the basement!" But I digress). Even to this day when a reread the strip I tear up. And what is going to happen to Elizabeth and Constable Wright? I seriously think that he's going to become interested in that old friend of his and dump Elizabeth. He really doesn't want to move south. But that's okay because I think Elizabeth will be reunited with the one that she truly love, Anthony. Oh BTW, I was totally wierded out when the comic started winking at me! I'm not sure if I'm ready for animated comic strips online.

Bird Flies the Nest

Today was one of those painful parenting days—one of the boys permanently flew the nest. Today the Marines came at 5 a.m. and took him off to boot camp. You're proud but torn up at the same time because it's such a turning point in their and your lives. I think I've been crying off and on all day. All the other parents at work know exactly what I'm going through. The single ones have no clue. They don't get it, just a few days ago I was ranting and raving that I wished they'd all move out because they don't do squat around the house and expect me to pick up after them, afterall they're on summer vacation. And now I'm crying because I want my baby back. It just seems yesterday that he was ten and playing roller hockey, and then all of a sudden last month he graduated from high school and "poof" he's gone. The circle is now closed because both Bruce and I now know how our moms felt when we went off to boot camp.

Memories

I was on vacation recently up to Newfoundland for my aunt & uncle's 60th anniversary. The last time I was there was 10 years ago at their 50th. While I was there I found the Dick Nolan album I've been searching for in an antique store. It was the only one that was never put on a CD. It has a song on it called Fiddler's Green that my father used to sing (usually when he was in his cups). I've heard the song sung by others but it wasn't the same, it had to be Dick Nolan's version. I had the album but my ex kept it for some strange reason. So I haven't heard it for almost 10 years. Today I finally got a record player so I could hear it. The minute I heard it I started crying. I could picture my father singing away and me, being the snotty teenager that I was, rolling my eyes and saying "Daaaadddd." I called my sister and played the song over the phone. She was sniffling as well. We had a good laugh over that, both of us were crying by the third note! What a nice memory.

Books I've read: Just finished the Tanya Huff vampire PI series. Not bad, always liked her writing. Also finished the DaVinci code just before the movie came out so I could compare. Not bad, but the writing wasn't too difficult. After I finished the book, I realized that the whole story took place in what, three days and no one ate, slept or changed clothes??? I'm in the middle of the Kite Runner but not working too hard on that one (it's my lunch book) and the new Pern book written by her son.

Goodbye Georgie

It's funny how we get attached to objects. I just sold the car that I've been driving for the past 12 years. I balled my eyes out when I had to hand him over to the dealer! He was a 1994 Geo Metro 5-door that I called Georgie...get it, Georgie the Geo. I know, I'm one of those people that names their cars. I've only had 4 cars in over 20 years, I tend to keep them a long time. Georgie was a fantastic car and we had so much history together, hence the crying. I bought Georgie because I needed a car for my dog Phineas. He was too large for a small car but I didn't want to drive a van. Phineas died a few months after I moved out here during my divorce. I firmly believe that he died of a broken heart and my ex had a lot to do with it. I still mourn my poor Phineas. I had to fight tooth and nail to get Georgie shipped out here, the cheap bastard didn't want to spend the money, said I should have drove out here. Yeah, right, not in the state of mind I was in at the time. I remember how pissed I was when I found out his girlfriend was driving around in my car. I wanted to fumigate him when he arrived. I remember how wonderful it felt when the flatbed pulled up with my baby. I felt so emancipated from that louse. I also felt that I had won, the car was mine! And today I sold him. I hope he goes to a new home. But Max, the 2004 Miata turbo, I bought sure will console me.

When Life Gives You a Lesson

My oldest stepson is in college and living at home. Lately he had been bringing his four friends over the house to play computer games after school twice a week. At fist I didn't mind, but over time I was getting tired of the noise and aggravation of coming home tired from work to a house full of kids. Then life taught me a lesson.

Two weeks ago while coming over to our house they got into a horrific car accident. I'm not sure what caused the accident because it was a single-car incident but we do know that they veered to the right, went down an embankment and flipped over three times before stopping. There were five kids in the car, mine was in the back, in the middle, and not wearing a seatbelt. He said that he tried to put the belt on but couldn't fish it out of the seat so he gave up. Funny, how one little decision changes your life.

One was only banged up a bit, two were in the hospital for a few days with broken arms. The two that were injured the worst were the driver and my stepson. We weren't sure if the driver was going to have brain damage, the doctors had him in a drug induced coma for 72 hours, but he came out okay and will be out of the hospital next week. My stepson received a broken leg, arm, jaw (in 2 places), cheekbone, and a collapsed lung, bruised spleen and a concussion. After hearing the sequence of events from his friends (he can't remember) I am amazed that he survived. They said he was half-way out the sunroof when the car finally stopped rolling. I guess when it finally came to a stop with a thump, he was hurled through the sunroof. I shudder to think what the results would have been if he was hurled through the sunroof before the car came to a stop. I don't think I've been more scared in my life when we were waiting in the ER while they were patching him up, or when he was going through his two surgeries. It's a parent's worst nightmare.

And here I was complaining about the noise. I can't wait until they are all better and over at our house again making as much noise as they can.

Books I'm Reading:
Working my way through Tanya Huff's Victory Nelson vampire series.

Th Ass is Still Alive

Remember the guy that I was feeling sorry for because, even though he was an ass, he didn't deserve to have lung cancer. I went on and on about how he wasted his life because he had money but didn't enjoy it or life. Well the bastard lied!!! Can you believe it??? He called his sister over in Europe and gave her this sob story and then....opps, I jumped the gun. The doctor said it might be cancer but he'd have to take some test. And guess what, it's not! He had his sister and his soon-to-be ex-wife (my relative) all upset and feeling sorry for him for nothing. Mind you he does still have diabetes and now some funny condition that causes tumors in his lungs. You get it from digging up dirt in Southern California, how bizarre is that. And to top it all off he lied to my relative about breaking up with the other woman and he hasn't. What a piece of work he is.

Life...Got to Love It

It has been way too long since I wrote a blog. Not that I haven't been thinking about writing one, it's just the doing that sucks. I had this wonderful one hashing around my brain for weeks after the new year, had it practically finished—in my head that is. I wish I could figure out a way to telepathically submit blogs. It was very profound, about all the interesting people that passed away last year. It seemed that they passed away in threes, such as the voice of Piglet, Tigger and Tony the Tiger. There were more notable people vs. popular people that passed away, or at least it seemed to me. But now I've completely forgotten the witty lines andreparteee that I had thought of and now it's lost forever. All I have left in my brain is dribble.

I made the mistake not too long ago of deciding that I was in a state of bliss. Really, everything in my life was going well. I though that I have "arrived" to that Oprah moment when you realize that this is a pretty good life. I live in a place that I love, a house that I love, was finally "really" losing weight, and to top it off I'm married to the most wonderful husband in the world. Pure bliss right? Notice I didn't mention the kids?

Never think that you're in a bliss state when you have teenagers and especially don't make the mistake of saying it out loud. Right after I uttered those fateful words all hell broke loose with the 16 year old and we went through a miserable period..a long torturess period full of abject misery. But we're coming out of it, a little frayed, but hanging in there nonetheless. I think he's through this stupidity period and finally realizing that he has to pay the consequence of his actions. New school, new rules, less freedom, etc.

Now I have to deal with the 18 year old.Onlyy 3 months to go and he's under the Marine's wings :) What is it with teenagers that they think 18 is such a magical number? It was for me because I had graduated and moved out. It's not if you're still in high school and living with your mummy and daddy. He made the mistake of telling me that he was going to a late movie on a school night instead of asking...not a good move on his part. But it's hard to be hanging out with your older brother's friends and having to come home early because of a curfew. So now his life is miserable because he's 18 and can't do what he wants, when he wants, afterall he's now an adult. It alway amazes me that they do the most un-adult things, like sulk, pout and lie, to prove that they are an adult.

Is he going to get a big surprise in July when he reports to boot camp. My husband and I (who both went through it) are silently chuckling. He has no idea what hell he's going to be going through. We're going to look like saints compared to his DIs.

But I think I'm getting back to that bliss state, only this time I'm not saying it out loud!

Books I'm Reading:
Lammas Night by Katherine Kurtz - Witches try to thwart Hitler with the help of HRH the Duke of Clarence, brother of King George VI. Spell binding to say the least! I don't think I've ever dislike a book by Kurtz.

Victoria's Daughters by Jerrold M. Packard - bio of Queen Victoria's daughters. Likes to gloss over history a little too much. But I figured I read about Victoria's grandduaghters (4 of whom became Queens) I should backtrack and read about the mothers. Interesting theory of how Victoria became a carrier of hemophilia. Seems there is no history of it in her ancestors hinting that the Duke of Kent was not her real father.

What goes around...

Someone I know just found out that he has lung cancer. It's rather sad and I have to feel sorry for him even though he's such an ass. This man wrecked a lot of havoc on someone in my family. But I still feel sorry for him because his is such a life wasted.

By all views he would be considered a successful man. He has money, he had reached the pinnacle of his career and then threw it all away on a risky deal making even more money. He had the Midas touch. In reality, he wasn't very successful. He has wonderful adult sons that are back in his life, but because he abandoned them he can't look at them with pride and say "I had something to do with them becoming good men." He had a wife that he didn't appreciate until it was too late. He had money that he couldn't enjoy because he was scared it would all go away. He lived in fear, in fear of life. He was saying that he was going to travel with the few years that he had left. He always wanted to go to South Africa and to Scotland to play golf at St. Andrews. The sad part is there was nothing stopping him from doing those things before except himself. He had the money, he had the time, he had everything! I always say that they never speak of your career at your funeral, only of your character.

It's sad that it took looking at death for him to understand what life is all about.

New Orleans

It pains me to watch the devastation down south, I just can't watch it. I've been through quite a few hurricanes, having lived in Florida, but this was the worst I've ever seen. I was in New Orleans for 2 weeks for school a few years back. New Orleans is the headquarters for the US Navy Reserve and a lot of our school are there. I look at the streets that I walked, now under tons of water and it's just heart wrenching. That is one of the poorest regions of the US and many of those people have no insurance. How are they going to survive? I wish that I could do more than just send money, I feel very helpless.

BTW

I noticed that both USA Today and another publication fixed their Brockville faux paux the day after I sent an e-mail. Ah...the power.

On another note, I finally got a comment on my blog and it was only a bloody excuse to put in a hyperlink to someone advertising low mortgage rates! So much for the power. The only comments I get is a spam.

BTW, who would get a mortgage from a company that sends spam?

A Very Funny Book

I just finished reading an extremely funny book by Bill Bryson called Notes From A Small Island. It's about his one last trip around Great Britain before he moves back to the States. He's got to be one of the wittiest writers I have ever read. I can't wait to read the one sitting at my desk at work about his travels back the the USA after a 20 year absence. Thank goodness it's at work or else I'd be up till 1 a.m. again trying to read just one last chapter before my eyes cave in. There were parts were I laughed out loud, and I mean really loud, while on public transportation at 7 in the morning! (And I normally do not read on my way into the office, it cuts into my nap time.) But I could not put this book down. I sure wish that I could write like that.

Peter Jennings

There are only two people that I ever wanted to meet, Peter Jennings & Alex Trebek. I thought that those two were the most intelligent and interesting men I had ever seen on TV. But yesterday Peter Jennings lost his short battle with lung cancer. We lost a great Canadian yesterday. I take that back, we lost a great man of the world yesterday. He always said that about himself, he felt like a citizen of the world.

He began his career at CFJR Radio in my hometown Brockville, Ontario. Not Brockton, USA Today. Jeez, the only time my small town will ever be in a national paper and they spell it wrong! But I just checked and they fixed it, thanks to my e-mail. But I digress.

I feel like a old neighbour has died. He was always there, every night, giving me the news in his urbane, smooth way. I liked hearing his Canadian accent as well. I was less homesick.

Everyone says that he was a very intelligent man and had a wicked sense of humour. He never finished high school, the world was his school. I heard him described as a sponge, he absorbed everything around him. That's why I wanted to meet him.

I saw him on TV once giving a speech in front of his peers in Washington. He was witty and didn't hold back any punches. He told a funny story about the difference between Canadians and Americans once. He said that Canadians had a great respect for institutions. And he told a wonderful story to prove his point. And I'm not doing justice to his rendition, but here's what he said: He and his son were coming out of the Skydome, the Blue Jays had just won the World Series. All these people, many who had been drinking, came streaming out onto the street. Suddenly a lone cop held up his hand and blew his whistle to stop the crowd and hundreds of people stood there until the cop said they could go. I love that story!

It's sad that he had to die a needless death. He had quit smoking for 20 years and then started up after 9/11. I guess the terrorists got another one.

Memories

It's been over 20 years since my mother passed away from cancer. She died when I was only 25. I had been in the military and married for just under 2 years. It was a time that I was getting to know my mother as a woman instead of a mom. I feel sad that I missed out on talking to my mom as an equal about all those "womanly" subjects like marriage and kids. Today I listened to a song that she used to play all the time the last year of her life. It was Memory, from Cats, sung by Barbra Streisand. After all these years, I cried my eyes out while I listened to it. It almost seems like yesterday that she died.

Tired

I'm going to be 50 in 3 years and I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Just the usual question: what have I done with my life? It's so silly really, I've done a lot and there's a lot more to come. But we all go through this silly little phase where we wonder if we've made an impact on the world. Christ, who has time? Quite frankly lately I've just been too tired to make an impact on the world! The last teenager of 4 is going to be the death of me yet. It's the youngest that's always the hardest (speaking from experience since I'm the youngest). But back to me. Why do we go through this feeling that death is stalking me right when life should be settling into a nice routine. We're at the age where we have money to enjoy, the kids are going out on their own, and you have more time for each other. Instead it seems that the years are getting shorter and shorter as we careen towards death. I swear that life did not go this fast when I was young. Last year I didn't get to the beach once. When I first moved out here I was at the beach every weekend. But that was before I had a family and a house to keep up. I was single and free. And what was I doing? Checking out potential husbands at the beach! Aren't we a funny lot, when we are in a family we dream of being single, but when we are single we're trolling for a partner. It's like the girls with straight hair always wishing for curly hair and the curly hair girls wishing for straight hair. We're quite the lot, never satisfied with what we have. I think I'm just a little bored. For the last 5 years I've been going to school, working full-time and in the reserves. Now I've graduated and I retired from the reserves. I'm not used to having free time and only one job. I have to find a hobby. Now that's a hoot, the last thing I need is one more hobby. So what to do about my mid-life crisis? Buy a sports car - no, that's a guy thing. Have an affair - now that's a hoot. Get my master's degree - hmmm...are you nuts! Start my own business. Now that's an idea.

Strange happenings

Eight years ago I was in a terrible divorce. My husband dumped me for a woman that he had known for only a week. He had met her in Daytona during Bike Week. They were married the day after our divorce was finalized. I meanwhile met a wonderful man and started a new life with him and his boys and we're happy to this day. A funny thing happened to everyone that was associated with him and his wife. Less than a year after they were married, he, his wife and a friend of hers was hit by a drunk driver. His wife suffered brain damage and amnesia. She basically didn't know who he was. The friend was okay but she suffered a lot of guilt for changing seats with his wife. His wife eventually left him for the man that she remembered, Dennis. She sued him for divorce and her family sued him for the insurance money, saying that he and the friend were in a conspiracy to keep the insurance money. The insurance money was spent on her recovery and nursing home costs, but they didn't believe him. She had another friend who kept everyone up-to-date on her recovery through her website. In a small world senerio, I accidentally started corresponding with her through a needlework newsgroup before I discovered that she was best friends with my ex's wife. Well a number of years have passed and the strangest thing has happened to all these people. My ex suffers from Epstein Barr syndrome, his wife (now ex wife) is still in a nursing home in the UK. The passenger in the car has passed away from some strange illness, the best friend has also passed away and I just found out that Dennis has incurable cancer and will not survive. These are all people in their late to middle 40s. I find that very strange...strange indeed.

Well someone there is smart

It seems after my rant, the boobs in Washington got smart and let the military take care of their own. The army sure was confused by Washington. Sometimes I wonder about our elected officials. They jump to conclusions without a fact-finding mission. Thank goodness they got smart for once. I just wondered how they could figure out where exactly the "war zone" was over there. Well that's my rant for the day.